Pretend You Don't See Her
by Mumbling-Idiot
Summary: AU She was invisible in life. Too plain for anyone to take notice. No one saw it coming. That's just what happens when you pretend not to see her...


Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha

**Pretend You Don't See Her**

* * *

It was just that kind of day.

You know, the kind of day when nothing goes as planned.

The kind of day that leads a person to suicide.

I hadn't meant to do it. I was just simply contemplating. Nothing serious. As I sat there on my newly carpeted floor, the sharp cold steel of the knife pressed firmly against my pale neck, I had only meant to draw blood. Nothing more, nothing less. I just needed to feel something, anything. Even if that something was pain, I needed to feel it. I was just so numb, not even sure if I was alive anymore.

And now I'm not.

It was just a simple mistake. I pressed too hard, drew too much blood. I died.

Now I stand in front of them all, truly the invisible woman. That's what they used to call me. The invisible woman. It was a joke amongst friends. They just didn't know how much that joke truly hurt me. I hated it. I hated being invisible. Just once I had wished that someone other then my friends would see me. But of course wishes don't come true. At least not mine.

I was just that type of person. Someone so bland that no one ever took notice. Of course that didn't matter anymore. I was, after all, dead.

Now here they all are, crying. I can't imagine why. My death was no true loss, just another dead body. Did you know that roughly 56,597,034 people die a year? That about 155,000 people die a day? Did you also know that out of all of the people that die a year, around 55,000 of them is suicides? So why should I matter? I was no one. I was an invisible woman. I had killed myself.

As I stand here and watch them all react to my shameful death, the door opens and he enters. He came with her. I am quite aware that green is not my color, but every time I see her with him my heart just plummets to my stomach. How I wish that was me. That I was the one he held near at night. But as I mentioned earlier, my wishes never come true. And I was dead. Any chance of him ever holding me like he held her had slipped away the moment I put that knife to my throat.

I was truly a fool to believe that he would ever love me. He was a friend, and that was all he would have ever been. I saw the way he looked at her. He practically radiated with love. And she, well I suppose she loved him as well. One can never be too sure with her. She was like a closed book that refused to share her pages with the world.

He had kissed me once though. That kiss would have given me hope for a love soon to blossom, if it were not for the fact that he regretted it at once.

* * *

"_I don't know what came over me;" His back turned towards me as he started to rise from his seat on the intricately carved stone bench._

"_What ar-" His forceful voice cut through my sentence as he started to walk away toward the rose garden. The garden was practically a maze, I myself having gotten lost in the tall shrubbery several times before. Despite the treacherous trap, the garden was one of the most beautiful places on this side of Tokyo._

" _I shouldn't have kissed you. It was a mistake." His voice getting softer the farther he walked into the garden I both love and hate. " I'm sorry." The words barely audible as his tall form was engulfed by the beautiful green plants and the darkness brought on by the night._

* * *

I had sat there most of the night, contemplating. I tend to do that a lot. It would seem that nothing ever good comes from it, and yet I continued to do it. I mean, look where it got me. Dead and not quite buried. A lost soul among the living. What a travesty.

I suppose that this is what I deserve. Eternal damnation seemed a fair trade for the taking of ones own life. What greater sin can there be? Gluttony, Pride, Sloth, Envy, Lust, Wrath, Greed, they all paled in comparison to the taking of ones own life. I wonder why unappreciative was not one of the seven deadly sins. I suppose that maybe if it were most of the world would be guilty of a sin. Though I am almost positive that every living being is guilty of at least one of the seven deadly sins. So what does that make us all? Sinners? Is that what our great religion is trying to tell us? That no one is worthy of God?

Well then I consider it a blessing that I believe in no such thing. I don't believe I have a religion. I never once believed that just by praying to an almighty being my life troubles would be solved. I do however understand others need to be apart of a church. To be able to hide from the reality of the world and fine peace in ones faith that something out there is guiding us.

I happen to know for a fact, however, that nothing is guiding me. But that's fine. I was never very fond of guidance anyway. I wasn't very good at following directions.

I wish I hadn't done it. I wish I could have lived a long, fulfilling life. I wish a lot of things it seems, but I am never able to make any of them come true. I wonder why that is. Maybe my dreams are too unrealistic. Or maybe I am just not worthy of fulfillment.

Maybe it's just my lack of will to try.

Whatever the reason my dreams never came true, I'm sure that I will find out soon enough. I just wish I wasn't that girl. The one who seemed so normal, then turns around and kills herself. I just wish my obituary didn't read:

_**Kagome Higurashi, loving daughter and caring friend, killed herself last night. People close to her can not fathom why, but mourn her loss deeply. May she rest in piece wherever her heart may lead her. **_

_**1984-2006 **_

_**May her memory live on...**_

I don't know why, but it seems that I am no longer numb. Maybe seeing that Inuyasha has grieved me helped heal my hearts wound. But then again, the site of him and Kikyou sharing a loving kiss did a good job at tearing that wound wide open.

Despite my jealousy, despite my pain, I really do hope they live a long and loving life. The life that I have always wanted, but apparently was never meant to have. Even if he was the reason I put that knife to my throat... Every time he pretended not to see me.

* * *

A/N: This was really just a random spur of the moment kind of thing. I'm not a very good author and I'm not sure this one-shot makes much sense, but I would still appreciate your input. Flames are welcome. 


End file.
